I recently had the opportunity to travel to and explore Colombia with my dear friend Earl. Earl has been living in Colombia for the past 15 months, is fluent in Spanish, and teaches English to high school students as his job. My Spanish by comparison is elementary, having studied it for a year in 7th grade and infrequently since. Upon arriving in the country I discovered that I had a real fear of communicating-in Spanish with local Colombians.
On a night when Earl was out with obligations to his English school. I created for myself a singular goal for the next 4 hours. To go out into the city and buy myself a coffee. My friend lives in Medellin which is the 2nd largest city in Colombia, metropolitan population of about 3.5 million. There are areas in which tourists go and English is common, but we are not staying in one of those areas.
After leaving his apartment I told myself to find the "nicest" vendor of coffee as possible. The first shop I went into had a few too many locals for me to be willing to embarrass myself (This is what fear does to you! Makes you overvalue what doesn't matter, e.g. Strangers opinions). The second shop was one we had passed by earlier and had prices for coffees, as a bonus was relatively empty. Sheepishly walking up to the counter I order " Un tinto por favor", handing the woman the appropriate payment. That coffee tasted like fucking victory. The best shitty soul-enriching instant coffee I've ever had.
A general note about fear & ways to combat fear:
The tasks or situations we often fear the most are so simple it is embarrassing to articulate that you are even fearful of them. This is an important component of fear, it tends to isolate the individual leaving them alone. I pride myself on my independence, as do a lot of people I know. Asking for help when I am in fearful isolation is something I will be working on for the rest of my life. It runs contrary to how whole generations of the Western world were raised.Ways To combat Fear:
Become conscious of your fear - being conscious of how you feel in a particular moment is powerful and does not get enough credit for how effective it is. Knowing what fear feels like in a physical and mental way allows you to understand it in a deeper way. Being conscious of a problem is the first step in its solution.
Face Fear With A Friend:
A majority of fears can be faced with a friend alongside. Utilizing the support networks available to us be that family, friends, coworkers, professors, preachers, is vital to successfully conquering our fears. Another way is to ask for mentor ship in what you are fearful of by someone who is already proficient at it. Asking my friend Earl for help with Spanish is an example of this.
I have lived in fear at points in my life. Everyone has is the reality of fear. Going to end today's blog post with responses I asked people to a simple question about fear, thank you all to those who have given me help with this.
What three words do you associate with fear?
Aging, Loss, Trapped.
Sadness, Anxiety, Paralysis.
Failure, Complacency, Non-Reciprocation.
Violence, Ignorance, Trump.
Anxiety, Helplessness, Doubt.
Alone, Heroin, Forever.
Worry, Stuck, Stranded.
Uncertainty, Change, Doubt.
Vulnerability, Pain, Unknown.
Accidents, Helplessness, Empower.
Anxiety, Sensation, Distortion.
Confusing, Halting, Unforgiving.
Trapped, Helpless, Paralyzed.
Anxiety, Unknown, Death.
Confidence, Paranoia, Weakness.
Comfort, All-Encompassing, Defeated.
Paralysis, Failure, Doubt.
Attachment, Resistance, Loneliness.
Disappointment, Loss, Future.
Mediocrity, Failure, Chipotle.
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